I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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