Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This is the high leading the old right now
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
