dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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