What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
