News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
