We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
that is very illegal...i love you.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
