What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
