everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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