Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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