I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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