OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
