I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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