I will die if light touches me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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