it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
