Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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