There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
