I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
