It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
