I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
