He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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