are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
