He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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