he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
