Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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