she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
