Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
