tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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