just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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