so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
