If i come over, it means nothing
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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