I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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