Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
