Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Randomize
