hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
