I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
