Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
