just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
