We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
