I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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