His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
