Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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