May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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