guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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