so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
They took my balls.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
