He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
