oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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