Got a toothbrush?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
