i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
