I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
