She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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