So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
