Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My bed smells like the plague
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
